Confession: I still like to color. I’m not ashamed of it. I stare at a computer screen for the majority of the day, and usually at a television screen for the other hours I’m not sleeping, so having something analog to do every once in a while probably just helps my brain not melt. Being the nostalgic person I am, every once in a while I think to go buy some coloring books and a fresh pack of Crayolas. Luckily my wife enjoys it too and doesn’t think I’m crazy.
When I was preparing the art for our Top Hat Sasquatch shirts, I realized I could totally make a coloring sheet with our mascot, and I got way too excited. That combined with the new TMNT coloring books I ordered on Amazon, and I was apparently back into coloring.
Then I realized that I’d never bought coloring books online before, and that there had to be a bunch of weird, random, and awesome coloring books that would be way more fun than picking up a Hello Kitty or Dark Knight Rises book at the store. Yeah, turns out there are.
So, here are the 10 weirdest coloring books I found on Amazon. I use weird in the best way possible, so no offense to any of the authors. I run a site called Top Hat Sasquatch anyway, so who am I to talk?
Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace: a body-positive coloring book
I only say this one is weird because the title took me off guard, but I think that’s what the author, Nicole Lorenz, was going for. The cover is awesome, and from the description it sounds like that carries through the whole book:
This body-positive coloring book features 18 pages of fat sci-fi heroines doing what they do best: trekking across the time and space, blasting off into adventure, and saving the day. Among our intrepid heroines are a rocketeer, a superhero, time travelers of both steampunk and madman-with-a-box varieties, the captain of a space pirate ship, members of spaceship crews tasked with exploring the unexplored, an RPG heroine with a badass bike, and many more.
Take that Barbie.
Nicole also has a RedBubble store where you can get the cover of Fat Ladies in Space as a shirt, along with an awesome Top Hat T-Rex shirt which I plan on buying immediately.
Coloring Historic Louisiana
When you go to Amazon looking for weird coloring books, you learn really quickly about a company called Dover Publications. Let’s just say it was hard for me to not make this a 10 Weirdest Dover Coloring Books post. They make some doozies. I tried not to include too many from them in this list, but I couldn’t resist adding a few.
Their titles aren’t so much weird as they are random and oddly specific. The California Gold Rush, American Muscle Cars from 1960-1975, and The Amistad are a few books from their catalog. But for some reason, Coloring Historic Louisiana struck me as the most random. I assume it’s mostly architecture, which sounds tedious and boring to color, but I could be wrong. Maybe there are some witch doctors and/or swamp people to color as well.
Grown-Up’s Coloring Book
Now we’re talking. Coloring books: for seniors, by seniors. Grown-Up’s Coloring Book was illustrated by ‘Pama’, who is in her 90s. That would be a great story if the books were awesome, but the consensus is that the art in her books is terrible, if you go buy her Amazon reviews. On top of that, they’re expensive. Twelve bucks for a coloring book? Yikes!
Thrill Murray
I heard about the Bill Murray coloring book a couple months ago on Laughing Squid, and thought it was a brilliant idea. What actor has been in such a wide variety of colorful roles and has such a hardcore following? I can’t think of many other actors I’d want a whole coloring book devoted too.
The book features Bill Murray in his most famous roles as well as some more abstract pieces that look like a blast to color. I bet Bill has a few copies of this at home, you know he does.
Charles Darwin
Another Dover gem. I guess it’s great that kids have the chance to color Charles Darwin studying tortoises instead of Bible stories, but it just sounds a bit dry. I doubt Darwin fought very many robots, drove very many spaceships, or did much much else that would be excited to color. Still, I kind of want to order 50 copies of his just to donate to various Christian preschools around town and wait to see how long it takes for the news stories of mass coloring-book bonfires to start.
The Christian Conservative Coloring Book
Speaking of Christians, this one would surely boil their blood too. Just read the synopsis:
The Christian Conservative Coloring Book, an update of the Pat Robertson Coloring Book, invites readers to therapeutically take a crayon to their favorite conservative wingnuts, including: Sarah Palin, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. As the conservatives here hold nothing back in their outrageous provocations in service to selling their latest book or energy drink, Kevin Stone similarly holds nothing back in his portrayal of a movement running on self-righteous cynicism.
You had me at Pat Robertson Coloring Book.
Let’s Paint the ’90s!
Ok, I know this one is technically a painting book, but come one, crayons were always better than those crappy watercolors. This one looks right up my alley with pages about Aaron Spelling characters, kids beating up Barney, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, and Vanilla Ice. Oh, and OJ Simpson, of course.
The Cat Lovers’ Coloring Book
I’m totally buying this one for my wife as a joke. Cats are probably one of the most popular things little girls like to color, but you hardly ever see realistic cats in coloring books, so kudos to Dover for cornering the market. I just hope those creepy hairless cats are represented in this book. Finally, something to use the Peach crayon for besides coloring white people!
Gangsta Rap Coloring Book
I assumed Anthony “Aye Jaye” Morano’s Gangsta Rap Coloring Book was meant to be enjoyed ironically, but after seeing some of the pages it actually just seems like a really well-done book, not to mention the cover was designed by Shepard Fairey.
Santa’s Big Big Book to Color
I’m not sure why I had to include this one, but I think it’s the title. Santa’s Big Big Book to Color? That just sounds weird. Also, it’s funny that Big Big and Jumbo Coloring Book are in the title, yet someone left this in their review:
For a coloring book called a “big big book” this is not very big. It’s a pretty normal-sized coloring book and there aren’t a large number of pages…
I guess it’s not that Big Big after all.
I’m sure I left out some great examples of weird coloring books, so feel free to enlighten me in the comments. Also, if I’ve gotten you thinking about that new-box-of-crayons-smell and you’re itching to color, make sure to print out a Top Hat Sasquatch coloring page or two, and send me a photo of the final product!
-
Amanda
-
Matt Cassity
