When I was growing up there were a few movies that I used to rent all the time from the video store. I (read: my parents) never bought them. They were like old standbys; always there when I needed them, ready for me to take their little dangly cardboard tags off the hooks and up to the counter in exchange for a VHS tape in clear-plastic and a “Be Kind Rewind” sticker.
Captain America was one of those movies for me growing up. I wasn’t crazy about comic books per se, but I loved Superheroes, as most kids do. Obviously, I watched plenty of cartoons, but in a time where live-action Superhero movies were rare you had to take what you could get. Besides, you could only watch the Batman and Superman movies so many times.
Because it went direct to video, seeing the 1990 Captain America movie at the video store for the first time was a surprise. Where did this movie come from? Who is this man dressed as Captain America? Why is the Red Skull Italian? In those days there was only one way to find out, and that was to rent the video.
As nostalgic as I am, I’ll be the first to admit when something from my childhood no longer holds up. I won’t necessarily enjoy a movie just because it’s part of my nostalgia, for the same reasons I won’t go see a horrible Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay. Nostalgia is like the cream inside of a Twinkie. It’s not the main attraction, but it’s a nice bonus.
With that being said, it’s safe to say that if I was still a video store patron, I would not be hunting down copies of Captain America on DVD, especially given it’s shoddy packaging. Ironically, if the producers had wanted to spice up the DVD packaging a little bit they could’ve proclaimed that the horrible VHS quality video was a bonus feature. Relive the nostalgia of VHS!
Anyway, the Movie…
At the very beginning, were introduced to the Red Skull as a child. He’s Italian or something and the Nazis have killed his entire family, which really makes him red in the face. Sorry. There’s a German scientist named Dr. Vaselli who doesn’t like the idea of experimenting on a little boy, and escapes to America where they only experiment on tall, blonde, muscle-men.
In in this version, Cap is not only a smoker, but also the son of JD Salinger. Ok, not really, but that’s kind of a weird bit of trivia. Your Dad writes the great American novel, you star in a bad Superhero movie. To each his own.
There’s not much physical difference between the pre-serum Steve Rogers and the post-serum Captain America. Although, there’s plenty of cheesy commercial grade music, bad acting, and horrible set design. Cap’s costume looks like it’s made out of that weird icing that you see on the FOOD Network on top of fancy cakes, and Red Skull’s head just looks plain gross.
Somehow the Red Skull manages to strap the Cap onto an oddly small rocket, and in the process manages to cut off his own hand. Needless to say, it was at this point that I started to lose interest. Captain America gets shot off into the stratosphere, landing Somewhere in Alaska, and is frozen until 1990. (That’s how these things work). He goes on to meet the President, who as a boy happened to see Cap strapped to that rocket, probably inspiring him to become a hero so that he could someday get frozen for his country too. Together with a bunch of other forgettable characters (Hey, is that Ned Beatty?), the movie drags on for a while and ends in a big castle fight scene that includes my favorite part:
The Verdict
I shouldn’t be giving this movie such a bad rap. I mean, it’s a direct to VHS Superhero movie from the early 90s. You can’t blame MGM for trying to capitalize on of the success of this summer’s Captain America movie, but they could’ve tried a little harder with the DVD release. I’m not talking a fancy two-disc set with a lot of bonus features, but this DVD is literally printed on a DVR.
Regardless, this probably cost them hardly any money to put out and they know it’s going to be for collectors, parents/grandparents who accidentally buy this instead of the new Cap movie, and people who can write 800 words about why this movie is lame but still secretly enjoy watching it. Actually, it makes me wish I had the horrible 90s Fanastic Four movie sitting next to it on my shelf. Until that day, I guess I’ll stick it next to my copy of Catcher in the Rye.
Hey Mr. President…thanks!
