The Unmazing Spider-Meh

Man, it kills me to write this review. I really liked The Amazing Spider-Man, and I’d been following all the sequel news for a long time and was excited to see them flesh out the world more and add new villains. I had heard some people didn’t like this one, but I figured I would like it at least as much as the first movie. Ugh. I hated The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Honestly, this film didn’t even feel like it was part of the same universe as the first one. The writing and tone is what killed it for me. After the prologue at the beginning, things pick up with Spidey swinging around New York chasing after a criminal. The level of camp, slapstick, and cheesy dialogue in this sequence made me cringe and get that embarrassed feeling for the filmmakers. I turned to my wife (who also really liked TASM) and mouthed I’m sorry. Spider-Man pantsing Paul Giamatti sealed the deal. This was not the Spider-man I was ready to see.

From there things get worse. I felt like the dialogue and relationship stuff with Gwen Stacey was handled pretty well the first time around, but this time it sucked. Hard. There is scene after scene of those two stammering and stuttering Uh. Uh. Um. Uh. and deciding if they want to stay together and blah blah. Oh, and Pre-Electro Max Dillion is such an embarrassing dork with such single-minded motivations, you’d think you were watching a Power Rangers episode.

Seriously, Max Dillion is obsessed with people knowing his name and being needed. The dude just needs a girlfriend/boyfriend. When he gets his Electro powers it’s pretty awesome; he is practically a god. Why wouldn’t that be enough to make him a villain? Give the average Joe those powers (especially one who never feels important or powerful) and he’ll probably go crazy and reek havoc on Time Square without the need for him to be upset about people not knowing it’s his birthday.

The action scenes are pretty great and definitely feel like classic Spider-Man, but the story and writing is so weak I just couldn’t like it. I’ll still give the next movie a chance because if the dialogue is better I could still enjoy stories in this universe, but my Spidey spirits are kind of crushed after watching this one.

Other things I hated:

• Harry/Goblin – Seriously, he is so tacked on and lame and has the worst maniacal laugh. He should have taken lessons from his movie-daddy Chris Cooper. He had a pretty good one in The Muppets.
• Why does everyone stand around and watch gunfights like they’re watching a concert? Seriously?
• The German doctor scene was laughable. It was like Ludwig Von Drake had turned evil and decided to work with super villains.

I guess this Spider-Man movie just wasn’t for me, but that bums me out. I’ve read a lot of people (especially on Reddit) who loved this one and hated the first. To each his own I guess. I think I need to go watch The Winter Soldier again.